A few tips for out-of-towners driving in Mtl:

- Montreal drivers do their lane/mind changing closer to the light than in other cities so that is when you need to be on High Alert eg: watch carefully, slow sooner, leave gaps.

- Merge lanes on highways are shorter here than you would like so let the merging cars in sooner than you would elsewhere. They will hit a concrete wall otherwise – or you!

- Signage on highways seems closer to the exits than in Ontario so drivers have less time to plan. Prepare for last minute exits by others.

- There are evil left-lane exits on some of the highways (and people from the last merge trying to get to them….). Make a note of where they are and let people move around you. eg: Hwy 15N from the East-bound Hwy40…

- Tailgating is the norm here – unfortunately. People want to be close!

- Where lanes disappear or are blocked by construction (sigh), zipper-merges are automatic – almost an entitlement. Assume you are next and position the car accordingly. No need to wait to be waved in.

- It is true sometimes, drivers trying to exit can’t get into the exit lane and they will sit in the next lane, blocking it for everyone behind them eg: getting onto Hwy 13, North and South from Hwy 40….

- When it seems that other drivers are cutting you off, think again. Nimble driving is about flow – it makes things easier for everyone. ‘Cutting you off’ is about territoriality – that is for the stationary.

And to be proud that we drive so recklessly? This is anathema!

Just ask anyone who has lost a son or daughter in a road accident, if driving rules should be treated so lightly! Then try to picture yourself as the grieving one, when the police arrive at your door, and having to deal for the rest of your life with the very real loss of someone you love more than you love yourself…

What arrogance, to think “quick and nimble” is some sort of measure of “good vs bad”….

Montreal “as a two cheek kiss” and I won’t specify which ones !

Personally I am a Montrealaise at heart (and with a car). Its in my mind, body and soul to casually roam the streets in my vehicle abiding by the very careless yet cultured attitude towards driving.

We locals only ask that you embrace our ways, indulge in the experience better yet stay outta our way and quit complaining ! lol

On several occasions I have had many a comments from outsiders about my care free sprited driving techniques. Alive and well living it up in the big city !

I have also had the pleasure of driving in other areas such as Ontario – love the right on red ! However I must defend the misconceptions I have read in this blog and provide some logistically sound advice to those intending to visit our lovely city :

1) We care very much for the pedestrians, however the municipalities have not designed user-friendly equipment it currently allows the crossing of both cars and people at the same intersection – the art behind this science is that when its green its a go for all may the less intimidated get through first!

2) To be a pedestrian in Montreal you must bodly but stylishly step into the pathway of oncoming vehicles thus execising your right of passage.

3) Taxi drivers just stink. They never have the right away and should be cut-off, honked and craddled behind double-parked cars as often as possible.

4) Always peel out from a stop light as if you were a race with Jacques Villneuve. Mirrored sunglasses and good tunes blasting a must.

5) When looking for parking in the downtown core you have no choice but to drive the middle line – therefore you have the ability to straddle either side of the road if you notice an open spot.

6) Never ever pull up in front of an open spot attempting to back in with your flasher on, this indicates to all other drivers that your a dumbass for leaving it open – as another driver WILL take it while you attempt to manouver your way in.

6A) If you do not follow these instructions thus loose your space its ok to double park with your flashers on while you get out and yell at the other driver.

7) Flashers are not used here, they are merely decorations used for double parking only. If someone uses their flashers either they are from out of town or have flicked it on by mistake while changing a CD.
Road rage is not uncommon here either. It is very important to give eye contact, the finger and speed up to cut off any driver that pisses you off. Imperative.

9) Honking, hand waving and jeering is all part of the pedestrian experience. If your nice looking you will be entitled to a 25 second delay

10) The best way to hang at a red light while going straight is to position your car slightly to block two lanes – this gives you a head start to jump in front of the other vehicles in case of double parked vehicles up ahead.

11) If you are turning left or right at a light you MUST begin your turning action prior to the green light – slightly inching your car by releasing your foot from the break pedal – you must be almost around the corner before it turns green.

12) If you manage to be the driver in the lead you may make any directional changes as you wish – as these arise the drivers behind will adjust accordingly.

13) Highway driving has two speeds – super fast and ultra turbo boost. Pick one or the other but take the lakeshore if you are uncomfortable with this !

14) Passing on the right is acceptable, not according to your ‘learn to drive’ manual but here in Montreal you are allowed to pass on either side as long as you pass with speed and style.

15) Relax. Take a breather. The ratio of pedestrian to vehicle related accidents is fairly low. Due to our extended nightlife if your here to party your more likely to get hurt falling down drunk !

I am working on a series for CBC radio on this very subject.

If you are interested and willing – or even just slightly curious – e-mail me your co-ordinates.

Another example of idiot driver mentality (only in Montreal that I have ever seen) is when a three lane highway (freeway) splits in two directions with a median in the middle. For example, highway 20 heading to Toronto splits at some point to the Mercier bridge. Instead of drivers getting in the appropriate lane early for them to continue west towards Dorval/Toronto, they will stick to the right side (toward Mercier) all the way to the median and run over the white lines or stop in their tracks at the front of the line until they can squeeze their ass into the left lane. This causes traffic to backup and get into rediculous stop & go for nothing, every day. And I see this kind of thing happen daily all over Montreal.

Another one that gets me is on-ramps that drivers turn 1-line into 2-lane, jamming two vehicles at a time onto a ramp forcing each car passing through to merge at the last possible instant. I guess the mentality here is bud in front of as many cars as possible before you are either forced to ride a curb or face the reality of colliding with another lane of traffic.

Blah to bad Montreal drivers (myself excluded)!

I really hate Montreal drivers.

could it be, that montreal policemen are more lax with enforcing street regulations (opposed to say *cough* toronto where you can get ticketed for jaywalking) thus creating a certain code of conduct, drivers who have transcended to a state of awareness of that code of conduct, and others who are still dormant. (literally?)

thanks for the great read! nice to see others have spent time pondering such issues too