Syd McCusker (1955-2008)
By
My sister Syd died on September 25. Not even a really bad photo can conceal how vivid she was.
Syd lived in Victoria, a place that didn’t seem to me ever really to suit her. It’s a place filled with hippies, retirees, and bureaucrats, people sure to provoke her impatience.
As a wife, mother, and gardener, she had a gentler side, something softer and more spiritual.
And just when you began to think that this was the real Syd, you’d find a magnet on her fridge that read:
"Jesus Loves You."
Then a picture of the Italianate Christ (the one with the flowing hair, soulful eyes, and pious expression).
And below:
"everyone else thinks you’re an asshole"
What a magnificent sister. I always felt a bit dozy by comparison, a bit slow on the uptake, a little too credulous. She was the least little little sister.
26 Comments
October 6th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
I'm very sorry about your loss.
October 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
You have my condolences. My heart goes out to you, during this period of deep and profound loss.
October 6th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Lots of familial loss lately all around. My heart is with you and your family as it is with all the others. This was a moving tribute to your sister and your relationship with her. I hope, as I always hope in these situations, that you will find the time to celebrate life and memory and family as a way to move forward from loss.
October 6th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
lovely.
October 6th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
What an eloquent commemoration. She must have been a wonderful person.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
My condolences. Victoria is a beautiful place for a gardener to be.
October 6th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
Grant (and Pam) –Very sorry about your sister's sad passing. It's a fitting tribute that she receives a heart-felt TBSATIOAAE celebration of her life from her big brother.
Fondly and with sympathy,
The Dingwalls
October 6th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
So sorry to hear about your loss. All the best,
Henri
October 6th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Grant and Pam–all my love to you and your family, always.
October 6th, 2008 at 5:43 pm
Dear Grant,
My condolences to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Brad
October 6th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
I'm very sorry to hear this, Grant. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
October 6th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
She was too young and clearly, too fabulous for this to be anything but a blow to the world.
I'm sorry for your loss, and for ours.
October 6th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
You are both in my prayers.
In time maybe you will share a little more about her with us.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
I am very sorry to hear about your loss Grant. I am sure Pam will be very much missed. May she rest in peace. Sincerely, Wance.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Too young by far. My deepest sorrow for your loss.
October 6th, 2008 at 11:36 pm
Grant, I'm very sorry to hear about your loss.
October 7th, 2008 at 7:12 am
My heartfelt sympathies, Grant.
October 7th, 2008 at 9:48 am
My condolonces to you and your family. Your words are beautiful and heart-felt.
October 7th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Oh, Grant, I'm so very sorry. Wishing you and your family all the strength necessary to make it through your mourning.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Very sorry to read this, my condolences to all of your family.
October 7th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Dear Grant,
I never dared to write a comment even if I'm a huge afficionado of your blog and articles. But,
I really want to express my sorrow for you and your family and say that you have my condolences.
Yasha
October 8th, 2008 at 8:43 pm
I'm very sorry to hear about this. My condolences to you and yours.
October 11th, 2008 at 12:06 am
So sorry to read this Grant, my condolences to you and your family.
October 11th, 2008 at 10:36 am
I'm very sorry for your loss, Grant.
But it sure sounds as if, wherever she is, the management has their hands full just now!
Kindest thoughts to you & your family.
October 11th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Grant, I'm so very sorry for your loss. You're right that Syd's spirit comes through in her picture in a wonderful way. Knowing you, even a little, makes me think that her life might be expressed in some small way by a poem I love from Jacob Trapp.
The moment of realization!
A man pursued by a tiger
Leaps over a cliff
and clings to a vine.
The tiger’s hot breath above him,
The man looked down,
trembling.
to where, below,
Another tiger crouches,
waiting.
Two mice,
one black, one white,
Begin to gnaw at the vine.
Nearby,
a strawberry ripens.
The man swings himself over,
And lets go with one hand to pluck it.
“How delicious!”
With love, Steve
October 13th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
So sorry for your loss, Grant. Pam was very obviously an inspiration to you, as she must surely have been for others. My sympathies to you and your family.