Culturematic: this just in

Culturematic IIA reader from the 20th century sent in this photo of an early culturematic.  (Who knew!) 

In this photo we see WACs composing the best selling English novel, The Tumult and The Shouting. later published under the name, Grantland Rice.  

Code-named a "teletype machine" and rigged to look like office machinery, the culturematic was operated under the watchful eye of WACs (and sometimes WRENs), growing steadily more robust and productive as a culture engine.

This particular machine was eventually used to write The Lord of the Rings.  It was by this time almost entirely automatic and required only a single WAC standing by to monitor and resupply.  There was one thing the culturalmatic would not do, and that was to invent an author's name.  An advertising agency was engaged to invent an Oxford don called "JRR Tolkien."

Then tragedy struck.  The culturematic was now so good at turning out beguiling stories in lively prose, the British government stepped in, declared it a threat to the language and culture of Britain, and banished it to the basement of the Bodleian Library.  At some point in the 1960s, a decision was made to send it into deep storage in the English countryside, but due an administrative oversight the culturematic was left to rust for several years on a loading dock, from which it was only recently retrieved.

One thought on “Culturematic: this just in”

  1. Okay…this is a screenplay for sure. I think your next book should actually be the culturematic movie script!

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